The Family, My Proclamation to the World

I have struggled for a long time with The Family, A Proclamation to the World. Many people have used these words as weapons against beloved children of God. While there is some doctrine contained in this proclamation, many of the statements made are heavily opinion-based and no longer reflect my personal beliefs. 

I sat in church squirming one day listening to another talk telling women they should aim 'lower' with their educational goals (shorter degrees, trade certificates) so they can be ready to become a parent the second they meet the right guy. There is nothing wrong with marrying the right person when you know it's right, and there is nothing inherently 'bad' about Undergraduate degrees or trade certificates, so why was I uncomfortable? 

I was uncomfortable because these messages tell women that they are 'selfish and hate families' if they get graduate degrees.

I was uncomfortable because this message is (to a degree) supported by official church documents like The Family.

I was uncomfortable because these teachings send messages of shame and exclusion to people who do not get married, who marry the 'wrong' person (gay, non-member, trans, etc), who do not have families, etc.

 

As I sat processing my feelings while listening to this talk, I wondered what it would be like if this proclamation was different, if it matched my current beliefs about inclusion and families in the church. I wondered, "If I re-write The Family: A Proclamation to the World to reflect how I believe God actually sees us, what would it look like?"

This is from me and not from the Presidency of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, so I have inserted myself throughout as "I" rather than "we". You are welcome to disagree with the choices I made. I re-wrote this for myself, but I felt impressed to share it.

Let's Talk about Privilege

I can picture the reactions now. My reaction to the word privilege has always been one of disdain, distaste, disgust, and uncomfortability. Why do these feelings come up with the word "privilege"? 

For a long time the word privilege has been used as a "bad word". It is used to shout angrily "You privileged #$@#&!! You could never understand!" 

To some extent, this is true. However, I do not bring up the word privilege with the purpose of pointing fingers and placing the blame of a systemic and societal issue upon the shoulders of one person. Instead, I seek to educate and clarify how this word is used in a feminist context and how privilege can be used as a helpful tool for the betterment of others. 

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If you are reading this, you likely connected with me over social media at some point and were morbidly curious about what I could have to say on the subject of feminism & faith in the same sentence (or you might be my grandma). Welcome!